And I thought I was winning the battle. But I wasn't

I'm just so damn tired with all the work and sleepless nights. and still it wasn't enough. I thought I could reach heaven but then it became cloudy again.

REVISIONS, REVISIONS, REVISIONS

 This keeps on resonating in my head and I don't know what to do. Will I finish on time? Can I manage to fully implement it?

I really don't know the answer. As of now, I'm back from the start. I need to start from the beginning. And now I'm freakin worried and pissed off.

Lord, please help us in this time of need. T___________T
I really don't know what to do now.

I thought it was Impossible, but it wasn't

It seems like I'm winning this battle that I'm fighting.

A person told me that once you put your focus into a certain problem, nothing is impossible. These were the words that I'll carry on for the rest of my life. Last Saturday, we had a girl's day out with my co-advisees for thesis/friends and that was a saturday to remember. Because of that day, our destinies changed, and this time we are the ones holding our own destiny.

Graduation
- Yeah, I've been thinking about it. And this time I feel like it's really something to look forward to. I'm planning to tell my mother, if I can manage to graduate, I want to ride a motorcycle(possibly buy my own). I love motorcycles and I love riding them and I badly want one.

-Yeah, at first it seemed impossible but right now I think it's really possible.

- Yeah, I'd be stupid if I'd say I don't want to graduate.

- Yeah, Me and the girls(Faye and Kate) are planning to go on a vacation if we graduate on time. Either Plantation Bay or outside Cebu. They're planning to take me to a tour in their places(Cagayan and Davao).


I want this oh so badly, and I will do anything to achieve that. I will finish on time, I will accomplish my sp on time. I hope I can pass all my subjects this semester. And I hope everything will be good for me this semester.


Downside:
- My boyfriend got the job offer and he'll be leaving the country soon. He just needs his passport, nbi clearance, and all the necessary papers filled out.
- Long distance relationship -> as usuall. yes, even if we live in the same place, we're having a hard time spending our time together. so it's like a long distance relationship already for us.

The most beautiful image I've ever seen since

Sunday (January 24, 2009)

And so the battle begins..

Got this from:  "Studying" (2005-04-08) by John Walker
(covered by the Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 1.0 (UK) copyright licence) 

-The photo is not owned by this blog-

This time I've learned to be more serious in school work especially in my thesis. And so, 1 week from now,next Friday, would be our deadline to submit a working system with bugs to our adviser. Me, Faye, Kate, and together with my other co-advisees, must push ourselves to the limit to submit our work on time and as scheduled.

But with so many things to do: including algorithm, coding, etc., will we make it on time?

I know right now we are all thinking that way. But I'd rather force my brain to think that we will. I will try my best to solve this problem and code it even if it takes one week of sleepless nights. I'm willing to sacrifice everything, (except my other subjects though), and I mean everything just to graduate on time. Lord, please give us hope and the courage to face this test and survive this.

And so the battle has begun. Who shall emerge victorious? Who shall survive? Who has the strongest will to succeed? This yet remains to be unanswered...

You don't have to hide. You don't have to anymore..

I've been listening to Christian music lately. and I learned they're not that bad after all. I thought Christian music would be boring, and songs that are sang in church but I was perfectly mistaken. Indeed there are different types of Christian music and I'm learning to love them. People who listen to Christian music can relate to it, once they listen to the lyrics carefully. One of the songs that I love is entitled Hide by Joy Williams. The lyrics goes likes this:

To anyone who hides behind a smile 

To anyone who holds their pain inside 

To anyone who thinks they're not good enough 

To anyone who feels unworthy of love 

To anyone who ever closed the door 

Closed their eyes and locked themselves away 

You don't have to hide 

You don't have to hide anymore 

You don't have to face this on your own 

You don't have to hide anymore 

So come out, come out, come out wherever you are 

To anyone who's tryin' to cover up their scars 

To anyone who's ever made a big mistake 

We've all been there, so don't be ashamed 

Come out, come out and join the rest of us 

You've been alone for way too long 

And if you feel like no one understands 

Come to the One with scars on His hands 

'Cause He knows where you are, where you've been 

His scars will heal you if you let Him

I can relate to this song, especially on the first paragraph. I've been facing hardships these past few days, and I tend to lock myself away from the world. I've been thinking that I was always left out, No one is there to help me in my times of need (financially and emotionally) and I'm not important to anyone. But I've learned that I'm selfish if I were to think that way. There are far more greater problems in the outside world than mine. And I've learned, "why be problematic when there are solutions for those things". I am thankful that I've been making new friends lately, and they reached for my hand when no else did. I got this thing for listening to Christian music from one of my friends. And I love the songs. I've learned that I can be close to God while listening to Christian music. There is still hope. I'm not alone in this world. Coz there will always be one person staying by my side and that is GOD. He will never leave me behind and I know that for sure. He will always help me at my times of need. I am leaving all hurtful things behind and now I'm starting anew. And to do this I need to breathe new air, new things, new people, new places, etc. 

Why be jealous of them, when they can be jealous of you. Why be problematic, when others have far more greater problems than you? Why think that you're the only one suffering, when all people are suffering in the world? Why hide what you feel? - by Airamana

 So I think this blog is a good start for my year. I'll be posting more and more soon. Still have a lot of school stuffs piling up. I can do this. Aja!